Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Randomize
