Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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