how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
