he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
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