never play flip cup with pint glasses
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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