I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
