your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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