So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
