Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
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