Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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