I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
