i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
