Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize