Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Randomize
