How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
