Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
