I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
