did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
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