Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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