So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Randomize
