i'm signing you up for texting rehab
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
