I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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