we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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