Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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