you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
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