Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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