so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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