i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Randomize
