White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
