OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
