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Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
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