you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
