i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
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You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
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She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize