If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
be right there i have to get my cape
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
