I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
