I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
