Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
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