I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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