Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
