Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Randomize
