Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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