are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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