I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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