I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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