And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
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