You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
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