I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
