just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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