She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
