I must be too annoying 4 u.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Randomize
