I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
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Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
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Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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