Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize