Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize