I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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