I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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