I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
