the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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