Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
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I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
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Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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