How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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