She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize